Big Dave's wonderful Gherkin - Act 1 Scene 1

What's this erupting from the London Skyline?

Is it a prick?, is it a gherkin?

It's Bob Diamond, of Barclays bank. In an act of public spirit he's given up his bonus. 

Not to mention, while cannibalising the corpse of Lehman brothers, Barclays (and the other banks) fixed the global interest rate market to SAVE the financial system.

For services etc etc a knighthood is too little punishment. Dave Cameron sentences him to a seat in the House of Lords

Now, don't get Sarky

Not Sarkozy, but Sark, tiny tax haven under the British crown, and plaything of the Barclay twins. of the bank done for interest rate manipulations

 

Our own private island

With its own jurisdiction

and no taxes!

we can do what we want

in our own private gothic playground

on the island.

Of Sark.!

If you don't like we'll sack you and chase you from our domain .

Our democratic right!

Piss off or we'll get the dogs

Cosmic eye of Governance

At the G20

 

Julia Gillard(Jules the first): Hey Bruce, watch me sledge the Euros.

Hu Jintao: Confucius says, this too funny!

Merkel, Obama, and the sage Manmohan Singh, levitating beneath the Eye of Surveillance

Naked PM in waiting

Tony Abbott's got it bad for Julia Gillard. He lays in wait in the chamber

 

Hairshirt Harry only wants to tickle. But he won't put that in writing

More of Harry here and here.

Mitt Romney is worried about sex

 

Julian Assange is contemplating solitary at the Ecuadoran embassy, comforted only by his lawyers.

 

Back on the campaign trail, Mitt Romney receives an honorary doctorate of camouflage at Mormon Hamburger state university.

His mind's on other things, like solitary confinement. He's been reading a Don Rumsfeld poem about rubber gloves and paper bags, and dripping, dripping water.

Destroying angel

 

Returning from a bout of her Wagnerian cycle in the courts,

 Gina Rinehart finds time, as an angel, to save diversity in the media

putting the slipper in

 

Mal Brough, pensive

By the power vested in me as a former Queensland pleece ("police") officer, an ex-MP, and minister in the Howard government I take the opportunity to say cooee and have a good old dogwhistle to the members of the Queensland LNP.

None of us are poofta-bashers, those days are gone.

But take a look at this fella. He had us fooled for a long time I admit, 20 years or more. He's done the dirty and he's gotta go to make way for talent, such as meself

 

Peter Slipper

Why, this bloke told me he left the door open, to the shower

Well it sounded good, in the party room

democracy v democracy: the wargame

 

Vlad 'the putinator' Putin watches in 3-d.

This is the Kremlin remake of a Hollywood feature. The politics of the original were most unsatisfactory, but this is MUCH better

 

inter-ducing Mike 'the mikebot' McFaul, silver medallist in the 2008 international chatbot Olympics, and new US ambassador in Moscow. He's the villain of the piece(Hero in imbecile American production)

On arriving in Moscow, the mikebot decides to meet with his team, and prove he is human

The American's tame environmentalists, feminist activists, opposition party officials and election monitors come to take their instructions.

McFaul shows them a powerpoint presentation

 

Russia controlled by this evil un-American monster

Putinator is not amused

Chirikova, the environmentalist has a dream

 

which will soon be rudely interrupted

as she comes out the Embassy door.

Busted by the champions of transparency at FSB TV(note John Travolta as sympathetic but stupid diplomatic guard). "This is all propaganda", she sighs

With her comes the boss of Yabloko, western friendly liberals, brandishing policy

 

Where's your Surkovian Propaganda now?

Shibanova, the boss of the State department funded election monitor Golos is with them too.

 

Slapstick and farce

It's all a very amusing prelude to telling Barack Obama to go f#*k himself

The Sun King never tells a lie

 

Rupert Murdoch dreams of Silvio Berlusconi, and never tells a lie to the Leveson inquiry . "Blackmail business" - what exactly is 'blackmail', and how could I make a business from a concept I do not comprehend?

His little (lightweight) mate came in to back him up. Why Gordon "Magic Puddin'" Brown is well known as an habitual liar. Wouldn't trust a word he says, though he makes a great diversion to hang blame on. There, settled that up

 

Call me Dave makes a jokey evasive appearance. He says TV is very important, and newspapers not so much, so it was important not to let a trivial thing like phone hacking in newspapers get in the way of an important deal to deliver absolute control of TV to some bloke or other, whose name he can't recall, but with whom he's dined on a number of occasions. And of course he and Rebekah Brooks had not formed some sort of shady menage, why she was married to a schoolchum, and they almost never swapped spouses

 

And Cameron denies having sex with James Murdoch, 'although there was some intellectual intercourse

Wargamin' Democracy - McFoul is as McFaul does

 

If you ever wondered why Vlad "are they wearing condoms" the Putin doesn't like US administrations, wonder no longer. They spend their time trying to organise velveteen revolutions against him.

So when Barack "the plant" O'Bummer-Obama announced a reset in US-Russian relations, as reset implementer he chose neo-con Democrat and professor of regime change, Michael A. McFaul, making him US ambassador to Moscow. You see nominative determinism at work.

When he arrived his team of 'Russian opposition leaders' and 'election monitors' dutifully appeared at the US embassy to receive their instructions, to the stunned incredulity of Russian news audiences. Shades of Mark Arbib(except in Australia we don't care about the treachery of our representatives). (Who gives Hairshirt Harry his riding instructions?)

If you've heard of Yabloko - the Russian 'liberals', they were there. By liberal they mean they will open up opportunities for children to work 12-hour shifts in the salt mines. (and therefore, true liberals) . There were 'environmentalists' and 'feminists', co-opted for the cause of US imperial ambition

More pictures to come

Davros of Davos

 

Davros and some daleks and other creations

 

Rebekah Antoinette - hang her head from the parapet and let em shoot it to bits

Now 2 former British PMs have accused Rupert Murdoch of lying in evidence. His creations are turning on him

Camels, up the Shabab Road

Have we got a deal for you

for one of these

we give you 10 of those - prime Somali camels

 And that's not all ...

For Hilary Clinton we give you 2 dozen chickens, a feast. For Generalissimo Panetta, some crispy flatbread, yoghurt, and the loan of a goat.

Whatta ya got to lose?

Gordon Brown Pudding

 

Gordon Brown is back from his period of enforced contemplation in Antarctica, courtesy of the British people. With only Merkozy, Call-me-Lord-Dave-Snooty, and Goldman's Lloyd Blankfein for company. The horror ...

He's in no way deranged or seeking revenge, but has plenty of brown pudding for Rupert Murdoch. All he can eat

Jules the first

 

Julia Gillard as Elizabeth I

 

What awaits her unruly Essex... er, Craig Thomson?

A message from our sponsor

 

What a Koch!

Give us your poor and your weary

 

and let us bomb the shit out of them

Having started today with a little prayer, I'd now like to call for a volunteer, from the audience, one of you schoolkids in the front, to come up here and help me choose a name from this list I keep close to my heart, and help to make the world a better place.

Then we'll get out the soda and the x-box and zap that bug