Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Gina Rinehart seeks Dance Partner

Fresh from rave reviews for starring in her own production of Marikana, our favourite operatic diva sought to expand her dominance of the world's pits and opera houses to further domains.

Her next production will be an all-dancing megahit to outdo Imelda Marcos.

Meanwhile, I'll step out on the town, and practise my moves, but I'll need a partner
I'm just a little waif, so I need a weighty intellectual, a man with a pulpit to express my opinions.

What's a billionaire to do? There's Andrew Bolt or Barnaby Joyce. 

But what if he's dancing with Rupert?


This nice chap from the Menzies Institute might do. So articulate and brave, voracious and all-consuming. Oh Atlas, his suit extends to infinity, such all-encompassing perspective

Don't laugh at the hippo after a night out raving
- very dangerous

Friday, April 17, 2015

Keeping Clive Palmer inflated

It keeps a lot of energy to keep Clive inflated and aloft, a lot of lunches and dinners, breakfasts, and buffets. But it's a little known secret that Clive has a tar sand deposit all around his pancreas for moments when all have deserted him, the kitchen is closed, and he has to fly solo.

That's why his farts stink so bad

What Tsipras heard

What Tsipras heard
(dressed in bit and pieces of Samaras's and Papandreou's old suits)
 Putingling Imputinations of putinulent poontang
from that imputinent Putler,
Vladimir Putin

The Soviet Union of Standup Comics
declared Stalin the greatest comedian of all time
but, between you and me,
I am much funnier.

I am Daddy Stork of Mother Russia

 leading the two-headed goose against the bald vulture of Anglo imperialism

Charle Spider Scribble

Does Prince Charles send hand-written secret missives to ministers in Australia, and have a right to 'consultation' on legislation, as in Britain(where these letters have recently been made public)?

It must be something to get 60 pages of spider scrawl from the pen of none-too-bonny Prince Charlie

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Ship of Fools: The PM is not responsible

Anthony Albanese knows: there's brass in muck, but what a mess


SS Tony - a refugee vessel, seeking asylum without maps or charts, mined, primed to explode, the engine self-sabotaged.

 Where's the Great Helmsman?

Now Tony, repeat after me

"I may be PM but I'm not responsible"

 Look over there, it's Bill Shorten. If you want anything done you'll have to talk to him


But can he defuse IEDs disguised as a patriotic gnome lurking in the long grass

Joe Hockey's overboard, not drowning just waving