Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Gina Rinehart seeks Dance Partner


Fresh from rave reviews for starring in her own production of Marikana, our favourite operatic diva sought to expand her dominance of the world's pits and opera houses to further domains.

Her next production will be an all-dancing megahit to outdo Imelda Marcos.


Meanwhile, I'll step out on the town, and practise my moves, but I'll need a partner
I'm just a little waif, so I need a weighty intellectual, a man with a pulpit to express my opinions.


What's a billionaire to do? There's Andrew Bolt or Barnaby Joyce. 


But what if he's dancing with Rupert?


  

This nice chap from the Menzies Institute might do. So articulate and brave, voracious and all-consuming. Oh Atlas, his suit extends to infinity, such all-encompassing perspective


Don't laugh at the hippo after a night out raving
- very dangerous


Friday, April 17, 2015

Keeping Clive Palmer inflated


It keeps a lot of energy to keep Clive inflated and aloft, a lot of lunches and dinners, breakfasts, and buffets. But it's a little known secret that Clive has a tar sand deposit all around his pancreas for moments when all have deserted him, the kitchen is closed, and he has to fly solo.

That's why his farts stink so bad

What Tsipras heard

What Tsipras heard
(dressed in bit and pieces of Samaras's and Papandreou's old suits)
being
 Putingling Imputinations of putinulent poontang
from that imputinent Putler,
Vladimir Putin



The Soviet Union of Standup Comics
declared Stalin the greatest comedian of all time
but, between you and me,
I am much funnier.


I am Daddy Stork of Mother Russia

 leading the two-headed goose against the bald vulture of Anglo imperialism

Charle Spider Scribble


Does Prince Charles send hand-written secret missives to ministers in Australia, and have a right to 'consultation' on legislation, as in Britain(where these letters have recently been made public)?

It must be something to get 60 pages of spider scrawl from the pen of none-too-bonny Prince Charlie

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Ship of Fools: The PM is not responsible


Anthony Albanese knows: there's brass in muck, but what a mess


 

SS Tony - a refugee vessel, seeking asylum without maps or charts, mined, primed to explode, the engine self-sabotaged.

 Where's the Great Helmsman?



Now Tony, repeat after me

"I may be PM but I'm not responsible"

 Look over there, it's Bill Shorten. If you want anything done you'll have to talk to him

 

But can he defuse IEDs disguised as a patriotic gnome lurking in the long grass



Joe Hockey's overboard, not drowning just waving




Sunday, March 22, 2015

Fire: Madame Speaker's psychic projectiles


Firing Dum Dum bullets like Tony Abbott is a feint, a ruse. 

No Such Agency has been at work. Bronwyn Bishop's hair shields a mighty capacitor for the Fool Spectrum Dominance Mind Ray. Powered up by cheap jibes and vitriol, it turns Barnaby Joyce and Joe Hockey into the Thinkers, and makes Malcolm Turnbull's jokes funny.

 So ensuring adult rule forever!

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

In a bar in Minsk...


Commemorative Coprolite sculptures of Lukashenko and Putin pursue a chocolate Poroshenko with an  offensive joke. 


Merkel to Obama : "There were a Frenchman, a Russian and a Ukrainian in a bar in Minsk. A beautiful German walked in..."

I'm Lord Fink and I'm not Dodgy


UK Tory party financier with a share in a Swiss Money Cake. And a beautiful name

My feelings don't really matter


In the cause of equality Joe Hockey will kiss anyone, especially at a fundraising party



He can even get all wet with Dear Leader, Tony Abbott. Cory Bernardi can't bear to look ... away. He's still obsessed about Malcolm Turnbull getting it on with an amoeba

Dijsselbloem and Varoufakis


Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Send in the clowns


Kevin Andrews - "really, I'm a lot uglier than that"

The barnacles, the debacles, the thrills of spills, day after day the parliamentary clown fire brigade outdo their latest triumph



Tony Abbott surrenders.

The liar in chief

Look Ma, I can do this without crossing my fingers


Bronwyn Bishop can only applaud her love-child's conduct and good government from the Speaker's chair



And who couldn't indulge the endearing antics of Christopher Pyne, leader of the clowns



Arthur Sinodinos  used to give advice to Johnny Howard on how to make the most of a cheap suit, now takes leave from the NSW ICAC to offer the Liberal party some advice in his role as Guardian of Government Morals.

Note the streamlined head affording high manoeuvrability in tight spaces in both forward and reverse gears

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Holy HSBC cake


Lord Green commemorative cake that lights a candle for Jesus and Mammon



Monday, February 9, 2015

Run rabbt run


Coagulated dreams, Dear Leaders. The line up of heads to roll. Will Hodgman, Mike Baird, Campbell Newman, Tony Abbott and Colin Barnett


Vladimir Putin knows what to say, "Bwahaha, I'm huntin' Wabbits"



Sunday, February 1, 2015

Ian Duncan Smith

 
 
As a compassionate wet Tory(bwahaha)
 

 
The usual blockhead

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Djinn with an evil hangover


Like coal, Prince Philip is good for humanity. When the Rhodes scholar and eminent phycisist Tony Abbott became PM he offered these words of advice -

"Tone, you should lay off the cones"



But he wouldn't be told

"Team Australia, c'est moi"

He pressed ahead with plans to generate infiniite energy by mind-melding with ancient feudal entities, with the Duke of Edinburgh as a test platform,



even though a previous attempt with SBY in Indonesia didn't work out so well

Monday, January 26, 2015

Fossils fuel Monuments



Abdullah Imperial HeloPort and Campbell Newman's outcropping hill of coal seam gas.

Tony Blair hunted


The ICC snatch squad pursue Tony Blair.

Peter Dutton's lips are sealed


Minister Dutton sews lips shut in solidarity with Asylum seekers in immigration detention

In a gesture of compassion, the Gold Coast drug squad's rep in federal cabinet joins refugees on deck of a vessel attempting unauthorised passage to await processing  by operation sovereigns and doubloons

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Theresa May


A political statement in barbed wire and chains, all of respectable corporate security state provenance. Tony Abbott's hairshirt and lycra is for sissies, and Maggie T was far too easy on you bastards


Tony Abbott is wigging out


Our Dear Leader continues his spiritual journey, discovering that endangered barnacles can't just be bulldozed aside without an EIS, and besides the buggers are hard to shift.

So well attached they'd rip his heart and liver out

Friday, December 12, 2014

Police Provocateur


California Highway Patrol are planting undercover police in demos against police violence and impunity in Oakland and elsewhere.

This handsome fellow and his partner were attempting to incite looting when unmasked by the crowd

Would his superiors have been secretly pleased if the crowd had torn them to pieces?