That may sound like cause for celebration, but all the senile old Sun Kink did was engage Krusty the Clown's hairdresser. All praise his youthful look at the country club.
Is there some desperation to complete his imperial project before he carks? Frustration at incompetent underlings who seek his favour? Does he think they're doing a good job? He's still pulling strings, but look at the result
To remove any further doubts in anyone's mind, and maximize the efficient use of the Speaker's valuable time we propose the following modifications to the Speaker's Chair, henceforth to be referred to as the Speaker Mobility Vehicle(TM).
The speaker will have to undergo certain bionic modifications to form a perfect meld with the Speaker Mobility Vehicle(TM), which naturally converts to a helicopter as required, and to many other interesting and useful forms.
This is the perfect gift for the Lady Davros with entitlements to everything
What are we reduced to? The A-Robb rapping out all the A-holes around him?
Barnaby Joyce's face on the coinage, gives twice the marketing value, the farmers get bulldust to fertilise their land, and China gets coal, and Gina Rinehart gets to sing an aria in a shower of money, all with her Barnaby on it.
Welcome to Country.
It's a song celebrating the redemptive catharsis of burning hydrocarbons, turning the land into an ethereal gas
Brain-damaged Jesuit and Australian PM Hairshirt Harry has chafed at the lycra full bodysuit he has been confined to, and plotted a way to make an entrance in the budgie smugglers he loves, and here he is, wedgying all his colleagues in a friendly gesture of love
And the fat lady sings
Is that a marine gastropod in your um... pocket? Or are you just pleased to see me
My children don't understand me ... they have this enormous sense of entitlement and I can't, for the life of me, see where they got it from
Kim, his wife, and the North Korean propaganda apparatus love the Alqaeda Broadcasting Corporation. And the affection is returned, so much so that he is now producing news broadcasts with ABC stalwart Andrew Bolt
Andrew has such great ideas, and he loves to wave the flag, even if he has to adopt a disguise
Recently unearthed archeological evidence seems to to support the myth that legendary Etruscan Central Bank head Tarquinius Draghi did really shit gold coins. Some might see this as a curse. He had to keep regular.
Quantative easing every morning before breakfast keeps me content. If I don't shit, I die
Has anyone see Elvis? Or Vladimir Putin? This is Alexis Tsipras.
Another IMF romance - Rough Love of Christine Lagarde and Varoufakis, Talking about Euro golden showers
Mutual admiration society - Schaeuble and Varoufakis
Species of the genus Nudibrandis are known for spectacular venomous growths around their anus. They are produce no toxins and stinging cells themselves, but preserve and concentrate them from their diet
These hermaphroditic invertebrates emit a wide array of noises. perhaps to attract a mate, or put a meal to sleep. These sounds have an incredible resemblance to droning yet overwrought human speech, hence the vulgar names Attorney-General Slug, or Troll Slug
The Blue Ringed Dutton often appears to have its lips sewn shut, but don't be fooled by this ruse. Endemic from Maryborough to Tweed Heads, this poisonous creature can deliver a hotshot that will kill in moments.
If a Nudibrandis Brandis eats a Dutton, it becomes extremely dangerous
Don't be a political girly man. Don't touch the hair.
When first observed Matthias Cormann appeared to be a new species of moray eel. After further investigation it was classified as a giant tubeworm with an anemone on its head.
While poor Bjorn Lomborg was pushed out into the Indian Ocean in an orange lifeboat, not everyone hates refugees.
Petro Poroshenko not only gave lonely exile Mikhael Saakashvili asylum, he threw in a box of chocolates, Ukrainian citizenship, and made him governor of Odessa
Pro-Ukrainian citizens are thin on the ground in Odessa as fresh-faced fascists from the Kyiv post report. They require the encouragement of the strong
In the absence of suitable citizens PM Arseniy Yatsenyuk knows he'll have to manufacture or import some.
Would Australia export live animal Scott Morrison to be the new governor of Odessa? Morrison was too busy sneering at people (for operational reasons) to consider the role.
McCain knows all manner of political corpses. There's a filing cabnet full of the undead at Foggy Bottom. He had a suggestion. Saakashvili. our former zombie on the spot in Tbilisi, is now surplus to requirementshad to make a quick exit,
His record on human rights is questionable, that should be perfect
Adel al Jubair demands a US Zombie Armada to bomb Yemen and Iran. Undead States Secretary of State John Kerry is chided as a peacenik. You didn't invade Syria when we gave you the opportunity on a plate.
But Kerry will only provide military equipment. You have plenty of zombies of your own
To his colleagues raucous amusement, Joe Hockey gets a good laugh in at the expense of designated scapegoat Malcolm Turnbull. No-one(not even Julie Bishop) seems to care that Joe isn't wearing any pants.
Joe and Tony Abbott are proud parents baptising their little baby as Warren Truss and Julie Bishop pledge to love it should anything go wrong. Never mind that last year's child was stillborn
Bjorn Lomborg's benefactor Paul Singer explains that he is not a vulture capitalist. Pursuing Argentina for bonds he picked up for a song is a part of his campaign to protect the integrity of capitalism.
Tony Abbott rushes to save the condemned. Or harvest their souls like a deathbed priest
Andrew Chan points out death before they look their killers in the eye
For Jokowi this is excellent, Indonesia is so hardcore, Megawati is sated, and as far as that noxious Australian PM is concerned I proved I do not [ Eric Cartman voice] respect his authority! This is something to celebrate.
He orchestrates a metal version of the national anthem
Tony Abbott is not going to let Jokowi celebrate this grisly farce on his own. From his padded cell in Canberra he contains his ANGER by issuing press releases about how, like him, we should be angry, angrily containing our angry(but contained) anger. Our Justified Anger. We should not act on the basis of our angry, yet restrained yet angrily expressed anger. Angry measures of anger, hogsheads.
It would be a tragedy not to gain an advantage from this.
Jokowi and Tony have so much in common - Tony's listening to God Save the Queen and fantasising about Prince Harry