Sunday, June 5, 2016

Victoria Nuland Selfie


Picnicking with freebooters from Moldova and Ukraine. There are good oligarchs and bad oligarchs...

"Fuck the EU!" - did I say that!?

Saturday, June 4, 2016

Bald Prick has a Cunning Plan



Turnbull and Morrison, and a flag

If we promise money to the rich, everyone will believe us. We can't afford not to reward them. Jobs and Growth. It's Labor's fault

Give it to me in bullet points!

What's Bill Shorten think. He doesn't seem that impressed.

Haw haw, Shawtun, never mind, I'm off to the Caymans

Sunday, May 8, 2016

Seenodonors and the peanut gallery


Sinodinos: Really, I've devoted my whole life to Public Service


Chortling in the cheap seats -  Tony Abbott with the backbencher in charge of secret dodgy treaties, Andrew Robb, and the head of Kevin Andrews, who is always ready to serve

Friday, April 29, 2016

Wyatt Roy's Dream


Dreaming up innovations for the Liberal Party, Wyatt Roy looks much better in pigtails. 

When he needs to think he slips the extensions on, ever since the halcyon childhood days learning political wisdom as he sat on Peta Credlin's knee


Was it Sophie and Tony Abbott I saw, laughing in the night.

"I'm an elder statesman..."

Sophie Mirabella's pledge - if you don't vote for me you can all get fucked

George Brandis is the life of the party



Saturday, April 23, 2016

Family Values: The Caymans


Playing dressups - the National Security Committee in Cabinet .

Wyatt Roy looks much better in pigtails, and heaven knows the Liberal Party could do with a little gender fluidity.

Gomez has such great ideas all the time, it's hard to keep up with the transfers to and from the Cayman Islands to finance all those bubbling ideas. We should have blind trust in him, and something in his blind trust.

George Brandis is feeling around, ready to rip out Malcolm Turnbull's heart, while Peta Credlin reads bedtime horror stories to Wyatt and Pugsley Peter Dutton

Morticia keeps Mal Cayman on his toes, you have to be agile with grenades going off all around. Like, who had the smart idea of putting a detonator in Sophie Mirabella's head. Still, it could have been Grandmama Frump, or Bronwyn Bishop.  Matthias Cormann is also lurking around

Exciting times for a family like the Caymans. No-one can wait for the reading of the will.

The flags will protect us, for they are like a shield of steel



Monday, April 18, 2016

Have you got Erdogan's Goat?



Mr Erdogan had a goat

A very special goat, full of virtue and intelligence

 
 The criminal comedian Boehmermann stole it - and performed unspeakable atrocities,

 Sparking a serious diplomatic incident between Turkey and Germany


Frau Merkel must restore my goat to me



Sunday, April 17, 2016

LNP dredging spoil


Victims of a bleaching event, these polyps ejected from the bowels of the reef, off Suppository of Wisdom Bay, look strangely like Clive Palmer and Greg Hunt

Hilary and Bern




Bernie Sanders

Sunday, April 10, 2016

The moods of Mt Trump - 1: Constipated Rage




Putting nukes to work. After vaporising ISIS and Saudi Arabia and whoever else is around, Donald Trump will raft the Karakorams to the Rio Grande.

That is a WALL. With A 5 Gigatonne Donald head shouting abuse and ranting about menstruation every 500 furlongs or 40 miles, whichever is less. Accompanied by the Finger of Mt Bighand.

Fuck Mt Rushmore. That is Donald Trump's pledge

Friday, April 8, 2016

While Morale is low the beatings will continue



Head Boy Malcolm Turnbull can't resist a little joke with his prefect Scott Morrison.

Wedgies at 4.30 in the Liberal party room - it's that kind of party!

 

The malleable head of Arthur Sinodinos has been snuffling around in the muck for truffles, there might be a Rolex in there, at least a bottle of Grange


Propose converting Victoria into a road. It's Labor's fault and we can load the contracts up with huge termination fees. I'm bound to get a Rolex, a bottle of Grange, a dacha at Daylesford, and a seat on the board.

What did I say? - I've forgotten already -, was I speaking at all?



Careworn after speaking with Cory Bernardi, there's nothing like a Bacon Bloody Mary at the Record Crate for a preferred Messiah wondering what comes after his triumphal entry into the capital.

The flying pigs may make some sense, and all that red prefigures what lies ahead. Kevin Andrews is prepared to serve

Friday, April 1, 2016

Morrison examines Turnbull's neck


The Barnaby Joyce Mechanism


Where is the deputy PM's office nowadays? Gunnedah? Guyra?.

When acting Prime Minister, Nats have to govern the country as a bunyip in a caravan haunting a billabong somewhere.  Perhaps with reindeer horns and a funny hat. 

Gina Rinehart's friend Barnaby Joyce,  staunch opponent/supporter of monster coal mines on prime farmland, has moved his whole ministry into the caravan and they're off to tour his electorate. Don't mention Tony Windsor

To celebrate their joy Barnaby's staff have produce this cheap commemorative timepiece, guaranteed to be correct at least 2 times a day. It's prone to strangle itself, but still works

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Comet Abbott starts to flare

LNP orbital paths have been perturbed. After a close encounter with some body the surface of Comet Abbott has started to deform, and as its characteristic cometary tail appeared, Bill Shorten observed an eruption of Eric Abetz.

Will it break up as it approaches the sun ? Will the Suppository of Wisdom fall in, and what would happen then, will we be engulfed in a black hole?

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Handwaving


The sound of one hand flapping.

The agility and unity of purpose of the Turnbull government are unmatched

Sunday, March 20, 2016

Richard di Natale


The Greens leader defends the sleeveless jumper against blue and yellow ties

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Donald Trump's hand is a little bigger than his mouth


Practical Innovation: CSIRO's Idea Trebuchet


Be counter-cyclical. Imagine a big red bouncy ball

 Some say it's awfully warm nowadays. My colleagues here and at our partner agencies have produced an awful lot of maps, and they just keep getting redder. Enough of that shit. 

I'm Doctor Larry Marshal of the CSIRO and I'd like to introduce  a practical innovation developed at my instigation by the CSIRO to jettison inconvenient lines of research. As it turns out, future applications are well-nigh limitless

A high-minded intellectual as ballast, making an ancient weapon new again. As Malcolm Turnbull would acknowledge, that's agile




The venture capitalist mind, heavy with bullshit, makes an ideal counterweight


Friday, March 11, 2016

Fist of Frydenberg


Josh Frydenberg

That fist is coming down hard on 85 year old eco-terrorists

Sunday, March 6, 2016

Smoke Signals from the Vatican Laundry


Fool or charlatan? Pope Frank believes George Pell. 

No cleanup required at the Augean stables. George had the walls recently covered up with institutional whitewash. Tony Abbott is decorating the place with all the suppositories of wisdom he can, er, bring forth.

Cory Bernardi is enraptured by their sweet aroma

Thet are in fact

Monday, February 29, 2016

Divine Hopoate Tactics


Would George Pell query his God ?

Maybe in retrospect, but God doesn't like gossip and he appointed me, so shut up and read the documents he provided.

Hypothetically speaking of course, if I in the 70s had seen a priest offering pastoral guidance to a 14 year old in his bed I would have applauded his vocation for children, you know there was a desperate shortage of men with a calling for the priesthood... Of course I see things differently nowadays



Does Pope Frank agree, Who knows?

Thumbs up for now

Thursday, February 25, 2016

I want to punch him in the face



Fuhrer Trump is getting shouty

Setting his farts on fire to public amazement



Clive Palmer has been here before, he's promoting a bout with his good mate Tony Abbott

Friday, February 12, 2016

The Lavrov and Kerry Show


Foreign Ministers Lavrov and Kerry of the Undead States of the Soviet Union and Amerika respectively, proposing novel solutions to the carnage in Syria

eg sowing dragon's teeth and raising voodoo armies


Acting Prime Minister


Malcolm Turnbull can't wait to leave the country so Barnaby Joyce can have a go as acting PM. Noone can

He'll set up a caravan and some fishing rods next to the tailings dam of some huge coalmine, put on a funny hat and stick a piece of grass in his mouth, cause he loves the environment