Brendan Nelson will be sad to see him go, but nevertheless he sees the benefit for Australia in inflicting his special skills on the UN secretariat
Tuesday, July 19, 2016
The environment for coal is poor, it's even claimed to be not only critically endangered but inevitably doomed by some misguided greenies and shills for the sun, not Shell or something bloody else decent - such as my partners and former employers at Deutsche Bank
Coal is good for you You fucking peasants have been told! Listen to Homo Erectoid guru Tony Abbott clearly repeating it, over and over, in communion with the higher powers residing in and around the suppository of wisdom, an exclusive and somewhat unusual blue LNP cravatte, worn, um, internally.
Not just good for you, bloody brilliant. Recent trials have confirmed that coal is an absolute killer when it comes to male pattern baldness. You can kiss that monkey goodbye. My hair is thicker than it ever was. Advanced hair, eat your heart out
It's not kaputt or defunct, simply resting, languidly extending and stretching its toes under the bucket carelessly kicked over by communists, Elon Musk and Lee Rhianon of the Watermelon Party. And there is plenty that my ministerial Fist of Frydenberg can do to save this keystone of our spirituality, the most prized fuel for the sacred combustion engine in our soul
It's not too late for coal, it's just coming into its own. Climate change can't faze it. If the wet bulb is at 40c and all living things have expired, coal will just carry on, it has no need to perspire, just inspire(poetic, don'tchaknow)
Policy detail will surely follow, yada yada, when it suits me, and I have received my instructions from the gentlemen of the bank, and the club
Posted by liberty at 11:36 AM
Friday, July 15, 2016
Monday, July 11, 2016
Wednesday, July 6, 2016
Sunday, June 5, 2016
Saturday, June 4, 2016
If we promise money to the rich, everyone will believe us. We can't afford not to reward them. Jobs and Growth. It's Labor's fault
Give it to me in bullet points!
What's Bill Shorten think. He doesn't seem that impressed.
Haw haw, Shawtun, never mind, I'm off to the Caymans
Posted by liberty at 9:35 PM
Sunday, May 8, 2016
Sinodinos: Really, I've devoted my whole life to Public Service
Chortling in the cheap seats - Tony Abbott with the backbencher in charge of secret dodgy treaties, Andrew Robb, and the head of Kevin Andrews, who is always ready to serve
Posted by liberty at 12:25 AM
Friday, April 29, 2016
Dreaming up innovations for the Liberal Party, Wyatt Roy looks much better in pigtails.
When he needs to think he slips the extensions on, ever since the halcyon childhood days learning political wisdom as he sat on Peta Credlin's knee
Was it Sophie and Tony Abbott I saw, laughing in the night.
"I'm an elder statesman..."
Sophie Mirabella's pledge - if you don't vote for me you can all get fucked
George Brandis is the life of the party
Posted by liberty at 7:51 PM
Saturday, April 23, 2016
Playing dressups - the National Security Committee in Cabinet .
Wyatt Roy looks much better in pigtails, and heaven knows the Liberal Party could do with a little gender fluidity.
Gomez has such great ideas all the time, it's hard to keep up with the transfers to and from the Cayman Islands to finance all those bubbling ideas. We should have blind trust in him, and something in his blind trust.
George Brandis is feeling around, ready to rip out Malcolm Turnbull's heart, while Peta Credlin reads bedtime horror stories to Wyatt and Pugsley Peter Dutton
Morticia keeps Mal Cayman on his toes, you have to be agile with grenades going off all around. Like, who had the smart idea of putting a detonator in Sophie Mirabella's head. Still, it could have been Grandmama Frump, or Bronwyn Bishop. Matthias Cormann is also lurking around
Exciting times for a family like the Caymans. No-one can wait for the reading of the will.
The flags will protect us, for they are like a shield of steel
Posted by liberty at 5:53 PM
Monday, April 18, 2016
Mr Erdogan had a goat
A very special goat, full of virtue and intelligence
The criminal comedian Boehmermann stole it - and performed unspeakable atrocities,
Sparking a serious diplomatic incident between Turkey and Germany
Frau Merkel must restore my goat to me
Posted by liberty at 2:07 AM
Sunday, April 17, 2016
Sunday, April 10, 2016
Putting nukes to work. After vaporising ISIS and Saudi Arabia and whoever else is around, Donald Trump will raft the Karakorams to the Rio Grande.
That is a WALL. With A 5 Gigatonne Donald head shouting abuse and ranting about menstruation every 500 furlongs or 40 miles, whichever is less. Accompanied by the Finger of Mt Bighand.
Fuck Mt Rushmore. That is Donald Trump's pledge
Posted by liberty at 11:03 PM
Friday, April 8, 2016
Wedgies at 4.30 in the Liberal party room - it's that kind of party!
The malleable head of Arthur Sinodinos has been snuffling around in the muck for truffles, there might be a Rolex in there, at least a bottle of Grange
Propose converting Victoria into a road. It's Labor's fault and we can load the contracts up with huge termination fees. I'm bound to get a Rolex, a bottle of Grange, a dacha at Daylesford, and a seat on the board.
What did I say? - I've forgotten already -, was I speaking at all?
Careworn after speaking with Cory Bernardi, there's nothing like a Bacon Bloody Mary at the Record Crate for a preferred Messiah wondering what comes after his triumphal entry into the capital.
The flying pigs may make some sense, and all that red prefigures what lies ahead. Kevin Andrews is prepared to serve
Posted by liberty at 9:31 PM
Friday, April 1, 2016
Where is the deputy PM's office nowadays? Gunnedah? Guyra?.
When acting Prime Minister, Nats have to govern the country as a bunyip in a caravan haunting a billabong somewhere. Perhaps with reindeer horns and a funny hat.
Gina Rinehart's friend Barnaby Joyce, staunch opponent/supporter of monster coal mines on prime farmland, has moved his whole ministry into the caravan and they're off to tour his electorate. Don't mention Tony Windsor
To celebrate their joy Barnaby's staff have produce this cheap commemorative timepiece, guaranteed to be correct at least 2 times a day. It's prone to strangle itself, but still works
Posted by liberty at 6:58 PM
Wednesday, March 30, 2016
LNP orbital paths have been perturbed. After a close encounter with some body the surface of Comet Abbott has started to deform, and as its characteristic cometary tail appeared, Bill Shorten observed an eruption of Eric Abetz.
Will it break up as it approaches the sun ? Will the Suppository of Wisdom fall in, and what would happen then, will we be engulfed in a black hole?
Posted by liberty at 5:46 PM