Wolfgang Schaeuble

Gentlemen don't pay taxes

Fresh on the heels of Bob Diamond's stunning string of performances at the Libor Club see the Barclay twins, proprietors of the London Daily Telegraph - the voice of the establishment - as a pair of dancing condoms  from the island of Sark

 

They are puttin' on the Ritz, At the Ritz!

Set in a British-administered tax haven on one of the lesser moons of Gallifrey, Gentlemen don't pay taxes, Gentlemen do wear ties is a comedy of manners, a light introduction to modern business mores

After me:

"We're not takin' the piss!
We're not bein' SARK-y"

Stop looking at my wife

Prince Willy says, stop looking at my wife, the future queen of England, Kate Middleton

 

Have you never seen a royal coupling?

Offshore vehicles for the unemployed

Ian Duncan-Smith, British minister for transferring public pension funds to crony corporations, and post-Soviet billionaire Rinat Akhmetov confer over the modest dinghy of the well-known(and much loved) unemployed football fan Roman Abramovich

Julie Bishop

While the other kids set fire to things with the Sun and a magnifying glass, young Julie practised her laser stare.

Making a meal of welfare recipients

At the cannibal court of King Dave Cameron, observe the unspeakable in full pursuit of the inedible

 

In the absence of traditional bloodsports like fox hunting, let us join Ian Duncan Smith and sharpen our teeth to Eat The Poor

 

We are revolting!

Eh, Pharaoh, mind the shoes

Mohamed Morsi assumes dictatorial powers in Egypt

Kim Jong Un fun fair

It's scary ride for the geriatric generals as Kim Jong Un guides the North Korean state towards totalitarian Disneyworld

4 stars and I lost my jaw

It's just the price you pay to command the greatest military known to man.

 

General John Allen

But what's with the uniforms? The US army can never make up their minds between the empire in Star Wars and the Wehrmacht.

Scipio Australis: don't tase me bro!

NSW Police Commissioner Andrew Scipione defends police use of tasers. His face betrays a miserable disdain

confessional

 

  

Hairshirt Harry, get your hard hat on! The Tony Abbott superman transforms in the confessional booth. "Bless me Father, for I have sinned"

He confesses to his guru

Cardinal George Pell - Well keep it between ourselves

Quietly transfer the offenders, close ranks and defend the Church. 

Damien Oliver: Always a Winner

If you know the horse you're riding could run like a dud, why not back another?

What the hell, it's Melbourne Cup day (and Damien Oliver's horse didn't win)

Republican Faith Healer

Evolution is the enemy of faith. So it's divinely provident that Paul Broun of Georgia sits on the the Science committee of the US Congress, ready to exorcise lies from the pit of hell

As he says "I have data that shows the worlds is only 9000 years old".

Mitt Romney's practical emergency management

 

When I'm President there will be practical gifts from individuals for anyone who $hits themselves

Bob Diamond sings

It may be a louche establishment, but get down to the Libor Club to see Bob Diamond sing. While it lasts. His music says it all. Bonuses, rate rigging, billions in civil claims. Shattering highs and bone-crushing lows

Everyone wants Bob to sing

The hairy hands of Bain

 

Are these hands too hairy to be President of the United States?

Mitt Romney the financial genie reappears, ready to rescind your dreams. "I've got better dreams, those are obsolete. Every man will graduate with a BS in financial engineering"

 

Bob's excited! Gold for Australia!

He may be yesterday's feather duster, but today Bob Carr's strutting around like a peacock. A seat at the big table in the UN Security Council. All that good work pursuing Julian Assange has not gone to waste

Boris Johnson's new dartboard

 

is of course Dave Cameron. Boris has had Dave hypnotised since school days, so when Boris stabs him with something, Dave laughs. The buffoon's dream straight man

Something to hang up near the Boris Bankster merchandise

Rebekah Brooks

 

An $11 million pay-out, with claw-back clauses!

Hairshirt Harry's spiritual journey

 

Tony Abbott's altar-ego Hairshirt Harry turned his visit with Indonesian President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono

into a Catholic meditative retreat. Why give yourself a headache talking policy?

Better to give SBY the benefit of some hairy wisdom in the form of his book. It records a spiritual journey towards government, with a lot of fights and confrontations and chases and stuff

 

Did Harry find time to give Nat Rothschild counsel?

Foriegn minister dreams of assassination

 

Listen up, little monsters

Bashar Assad looks like the walking dead, but that won't stop Bob Carr. Bob never deals in hypotheticals, only "we'd know the conflict has evened up if there is a major defection... sounds brutal and callous, perhaps an assassination combined with a major defection"

 

Why stop at Bashar. The state has many enemies, within and without.

Julia Gillard conceives a fiendish plan

But a caution: "Don't knock Alan Jones. When I was premier of NSW, he was my best mate."

 Julian Assange torments US donkeys and elephants, flaunts his bunga bunga in the embassy. The free world is a laughing stock. We need brown-eye points from the Americans. Every man his own septic tank

 

ya baby,  educating Lady Gaga about Ecuador, and giving the public the means to exercise its right to know what governments do in their name

Euro Romance

 

 Antonis Samaras and Angela Merkel get together in Athens for some private bunga bunga. This'll get the iron chancellor's mind off Merkozy

 

 The public are not invited

Samaras awaits his beloved

Securency and Glenn Stevens

 

Glenn Stevens to Senate estimates committee

At the time we thought: what's a dong here or there. I was a nong, but there you go.

Australia's trade rep was having it off with the local bagman from the Vietnam's ministry of public security, who paid out millions in 'commissions' from Securency

Vlad the hangglider - Papa Crane leads his flock

 

Vladimir Putin loves his animals

  "Vlad the hangglider", fresh from taming Pussy Riot, takes to the skies while his ICBMs still have freedom to roam.

 

Barack Obama is pissed off - No publicity stunts during my re-election campaign

 

 Papa Crane leads his flock south

 

 past spooky NATO radar installations

 

 Papa Crane's children are threatened by NATO missile defense

 

 Back at Control HQ, in the cone of silence, O'Bummer showcases his latest hat:

"My force shield shall protect you"

 

Over in Afghanistan, no force field protected 8 marine Harriers lined up at Camp Bastion

 

As Anders Fogh ('fog') Rasmussen says: this is not a retreat, this mission will be a great success as long as we are careful to define success as we go along

Food riots: who to blame?

More good reasons to abolish the AWB(!): Meet Ivan Glasenberg, head of Glencore - the global commodity trader created by Marc Rich. As Ivan recently said, current global grain shortages are good for Glencore as it will create opportunities to generate superprofits through speculation

One of Australia's richest, whatta bloke

Alan Jones

Pursuing Kim Tim Jim Dotcom on a whim

 

 John Key has to admit: $10 million in New Zealand bonds was a very good investment. I apologize to all New Zealanders (and all the other millionaires with residency)

When the US Justice Department says 'jump', administrations around the world say, 'how high?' In an important case like this police don't bother to adhere to the law, gets in the way. 

It's a terrible shame when the 'guilty party' can afford decent legal representation

Entertainment industry racket:Eric Holder walks into Megaupload and smashes all the fittings, then informs his competitors - "you see the value of protection"

Bomb half-full, or bomb half-empty?

 

Does Netanyahu bluff: "I've got a very short fuse"

How will Ahmedinejad respond? Another Venezuelan-Iranian fart-joke initiative?

Marriage vows: Liberal party beastiary

Animal rights activist Cory Bernardi brought the Marriage act's treatment of 'Animal Love' front and centre this week. Liberal party activists are over the moon. Animals in the ranks can finally get married. With the new amendments, not only people and corporate persons, but all animal life can now marry into polyamorous unions as they please

 

Chris Pyne thinks it's icky, though that's par for the course with him

Do you, gentle Amoeba, take this corporate behemoth for a spouse, and will you, Macquarie Bank, honour and protect your protozoan companion? Will you both take Malcolm Turnbull, to have and to hold? Don't mention Goldman Sex...

Father Hairshirt Harry, officiating at the ceremony . Tony Abbott was nowhere to be found...

Mic check

 

Mitt Romney pauses to adjust his message

Mitt the moocher: Polishing the Wall St Bull

Out oozes the financial genie, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney: "I'm no bullshitter. I have magic underpants" 

"I tell you the truth: 47% are redundant. They think they're entitled to food."

That's a stinker! What do Wall St bulls eat?

What next, lipstick on a Republican pig?