Lucky I didn't step in it

 

Like God, the Catholic Church DOESN'T EXIST. Do you expect me to remember who lived with who, or every child who came through the door?

So sue somebody else!

Papal Bull?

Cardinal Dogshit, in every direction, as far as the eye can see...

George Pell

Putin Putin Putin - Oil Oil Oil

Capn BigEars loves a sporting event. When fellow fossil fuel dinosaur Vlad Putin took to the ice for a game of hockey and struck oil 8 times how could he not get excited.

Coal is good for you(I have a couple of lumps in my tea every morning), but oil is the elixir of life

Team Australia - all together now

Putin

Putin

Putin

Oil! Oil! Oil!

King Salman farts poison gas

 

He had to excuse himself from dinner with Barack Obama because of an embarrassing problem. Sarin is no joke at the table

Undead States of Saudi Arabia

Adel al Jubair demands a US Zombie Armada to bomb Yemen and Iran. Undead States Secretary of State John Kerry is chided as a peacenik. You didn't invade Syria when we gave you the opportunity on a plate.

But Kerry will only provide military equipment. You have plenty of zombies of your own

Budget, Act 2: the Laughs are on Us

 

To his colleagues raucous amusement, Joe Hockey gets a good laugh in at the expense of designated scapegoat Malcolm Turnbull. No-one(not even Julie Bishop) seems to care that Joe isn't wearing any pants.

 

Joe and Tony  Abbott are proud parents baptising their little baby as Warren Truss and Julie Bishop pledge to love it should anything go wrong. Never mind that last year's child was stillborn

 

To mark the occasion, Chris 'the Poodle' Pyne and fattened steer Scott Morrison vow to go out and kick expectant mothers in the guts

Paul Singer Self-Love Seat

Bjorn Lomborg's benefactor Paul Singer explains that he is not a vulture capitalist. Pursuing Argentina for bonds he picked up for a song is a part of his campaign to protect the integrity of capitalism.

Rushing to save the Condemned

 

Diplomatic Emergency

Tony Abbott rushes to save the condemned. Or harvest their souls like a deathbed priest

Myuran Sukumaran

Andrew Chan points out death before they look their killers in the eye

For Jokowi this is excellent, Indonesia is so hardcore, Megawati is sated, and as far as that noxious Australian PM is concerned I proved I do not [ Eric Cartman voice] respect his authority! This is something to celebrate.

 He orchestrates a metal version of the national anthem

 

Tony Abbott is not going to let Jokowi celebrate this grisly farce on his own. From his padded cell in Canberra he contains his ANGER by issuing press releases about how, like him, we should be angry, angrily containing our angry(but contained) anger. Our Justified Anger. We should not act on the basis of our angry, yet restrained yet angrily expressed anger. Angry measures of anger, hogsheads.

It would be a tragedy not to gain an advantage from this.

Jokowi and Tony have so much in common - Tony's listening to God Save the Queen and fantasising about Prince Harry

The Lomborg Consensus

 

Greg Hunt loves a benign environment and is always eager to please.

He has been busy handing millions to fossil fuel multinationals and looking for ways to hand over billions more. They are so pleased they had to come up with a special gift for him in return.

Poor Bjorn Lomborg is homeless and destitute, evicted from Denmark and barely sustaining himself on a pittance from a vulture capitalist and some other philanthropists.

 A man who can misrepresent statistics with such elan cannot be allowed to go to waste.

 

 They had a word to their good mate Tony Abbott, and he loved the idea. Chris Pyne is always gorgeously presented, so Tony gave him the job of wrapping the gift, then he and Peta would go and deliver it

Hunt is scared of Peta Credlin.

He saw her tear strips off Julie Bishop in front of everyone. Bishop had her laser eyes bolted shut, by order of the whip

Tony - your fly's undone

 

Hunt's Environment

Poor homeless Bjorn Lomborg is persona non grata in his native Denmark. Peta Credlin sent him over and now he won't shut up. There's an environment of consensus in Hunt's office. Find somewhere for Lomborg, somewhere remote

All that remains is for Malcolm Turnbull to calibrate Lomborg for Australia's notorious conditions



Julie Bishop will hold a big party when he gets to WA, MCed by Matthias Cormann, with laser displays and an extra heavy duty dance floor for Gina Rinehart and the rest of the herd to carve up in harmony and consensus