Mitt Romney's practical emergency management

 

When I'm President there will be practical gifts from individuals for anyone who $hits themselves

Bob Diamond sings

It may be a louche establishment, but get down to the Libor Club to see Bob Diamond sing. While it lasts. His music says it all. Bonuses, rate rigging, billions in civil claims. Shattering highs and bone-crushing lows

Everyone wants Bob to sing

The hairy hands of Bain

 

Are these hands too hairy to be President of the United States?

Mitt Romney the financial genie reappears, ready to rescind your dreams. "I've got better dreams, those are obsolete. Every man will graduate with a BS in financial engineering"

 

Bob's excited! Gold for Australia!

He may be yesterday's feather duster, but today Bob Carr's strutting around like a peacock. A seat at the big table in the UN Security Council. All that good work pursuing Julian Assange has not gone to waste

Boris Johnson's new dartboard

 

is of course Dave Cameron. Boris has had Dave hypnotised since school days, so when Boris stabs him with something, Dave laughs. The buffoon's dream straight man

Something to hang up near the Boris Bankster merchandise

Rebekah Brooks

 

An $11 million pay-out, with claw-back clauses!

Hairshirt Harry's spiritual journey

 

Tony Abbott's altar-ego Hairshirt Harry turned his visit with Indonesian President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono

into a Catholic meditative retreat. Why give yourself a headache talking policy?

Better to give SBY the benefit of some hairy wisdom in the form of his book. It records a spiritual journey towards government, with a lot of fights and confrontations and chases and stuff

 

Did Harry find time to give Nat Rothschild counsel?

Foriegn minister dreams of assassination

 

Listen up, little monsters

Bashar Assad looks like the walking dead, but that won't stop Bob Carr. Bob never deals in hypotheticals, only "we'd know the conflict has evened up if there is a major defection... sounds brutal and callous, perhaps an assassination combined with a major defection"

 

Why stop at Bashar. The state has many enemies, within and without.

Julia Gillard conceives a fiendish plan

But a caution: "Don't knock Alan Jones. When I was premier of NSW, he was my best mate."

 Julian Assange torments US donkeys and elephants, flaunts his bunga bunga in the embassy. The free world is a laughing stock. We need brown-eye points from the Americans. Every man his own septic tank

 

ya baby,  educating Lady Gaga about Ecuador, and giving the public the means to exercise its right to know what governments do in their name

Euro Romance

 

 Antonis Samaras and Angela Merkel get together in Athens for some private bunga bunga. This'll get the iron chancellor's mind off Merkozy

 

 The public are not invited

Samaras awaits his beloved

Securency and Glenn Stevens

 

Glenn Stevens to Senate estimates committee

At the time we thought: what's a dong here or there. I was a nong, but there you go.

Australia's trade rep was having it off with the local bagman from the Vietnam's ministry of public security, who paid out millions in 'commissions' from Securency

Vlad the hangglider - Papa Crane leads his flock

 

Vladimir Putin loves his animals

  "Vlad the hangglider", fresh from taming Pussy Riot, takes to the skies while his ICBMs still have freedom to roam.

 

Barack Obama is pissed off - No publicity stunts during my re-election campaign

 

 Papa Crane leads his flock south

 

 past spooky NATO radar installations

 

 Papa Crane's children are threatened by NATO missile defense

 

 Back at Control HQ, in the cone of silence, O'Bummer showcases his latest hat:

"My force shield shall protect you"

 

Over in Afghanistan, no force field protected 8 marine Harriers lined up at Camp Bastion

 

As Anders Fogh ('fog') Rasmussen says: this is not a retreat, this mission will be a great success as long as we are careful to define success as we go along

Food riots: who to blame?

More good reasons to abolish the AWB(!): Meet Ivan Glasenberg, head of Glencore - the global commodity trader created by Marc Rich. As Ivan recently said, current global grain shortages are good for Glencore as it will create opportunities to generate superprofits through speculation

One of Australia's richest, whatta bloke

Alan Jones