Friday, April 29, 2016

Wyatt Roy's Dream

Dreaming up innovations for the Liberal Party, Wyatt Roy looks much better in pigtails. 

When he needs to think he slips the extensions on, ever since the halcyon childhood days learning political wisdom as he sat on Peta Credlin's knee

Was it Sophie and Tony Abbott I saw, laughing in the night.

"I'm an elder statesman..."

Sophie Mirabella's pledge - if you don't vote for me you can all get fucked

George Brandis is the life of the party

Saturday, April 23, 2016

Family Values: The Caymans

Playing dressups - the National Security Committee in Cabinet .

Wyatt Roy looks much better in pigtails, and heaven knows the Liberal Party could do with a little gender fluidity.

Gomez has such great ideas all the time, it's hard to keep up with the transfers to and from the Cayman Islands to finance all those bubbling ideas. We should have blind trust in him, and something in his blind trust.

George Brandis is feeling around, ready to rip out Malcolm Turnbull's heart, while Peta Credlin reads bedtime horror stories to Wyatt and Pugsley Peter Dutton

Morticia keeps Mal Cayman on his toes, you have to be agile with grenades going off all around. Like, who had the smart idea of putting a detonator in Sophie Mirabella's head. Still, it could have been Grandmama Frump, or Bronwyn Bishop.  Matthias Cormann is also lurking around

Exciting times for a family like the Caymans. No-one can wait for the reading of the will.

The flags will protect us, for they are like a shield of steel

Monday, April 18, 2016

Have you got Erdogan's Goat?

Mr Erdogan had a goat

A very special goat, full of virtue and intelligence

 The criminal comedian Boehmermann stole it - and performed unspeakable atrocities,

 Sparking a serious diplomatic incident between Turkey and Germany

Frau Merkel must restore my goat to me

Sunday, April 17, 2016

LNP dredging spoil

Victims of a bleaching event, these polyps ejected from the bowels of the reef, off Suppository of Wisdom Bay, look strangely like Clive Palmer and Greg Hunt

Hilary and Bern

Bernie Sanders

Sunday, April 10, 2016

The moods of Mt Trump - 1: Constipated Rage

Putting nukes to work. After vaporising ISIS and Saudi Arabia and whoever else is around, Donald Trump will raft the Karakorams to the Rio Grande.

That is a WALL. With A 5 Gigatonne Donald head shouting abuse and ranting about menstruation every 500 furlongs or 40 miles, whichever is less. Accompanied by the Finger of Mt Bighand.

Fuck Mt Rushmore. That is Donald Trump's pledge

Friday, April 8, 2016

While Morale is low the beatings will continue

Head Boy Malcolm Turnbull can't resist a little joke with his prefect Scott Morrison.

Wedgies at 4.30 in the Liberal party room - it's that kind of party!


The malleable head of Arthur Sinodinos has been snuffling around in the muck for truffles, there might be a Rolex in there, at least a bottle of Grange

Propose converting Victoria into a road. It's Labor's fault and we can load the contracts up with huge termination fees. I'm bound to get a Rolex, a bottle of Grange, a dacha at Daylesford, and a seat on the board.

What did I say? - I've forgotten already -, was I speaking at all?

Careworn after speaking with Cory Bernardi, there's nothing like a Bacon Bloody Mary at the Record Crate for a preferred Messiah wondering what comes after his triumphal entry into the capital.

The flying pigs may make some sense, and all that red prefigures what lies ahead. Kevin Andrews is prepared to serve

Friday, April 1, 2016

Morrison examines Turnbull's neck

Who knows when the moment will come 

The Barnaby Joyce Mechanism

Where is the deputy PM's office nowadays? Gunnedah? Guyra?.

When acting Prime Minister, Nats have to govern the country as a bunyip in a caravan haunting a billabong somewhere.  Perhaps with reindeer horns and a funny hat. 

Gina Rinehart's friend Barnaby Joyce,  staunch opponent/supporter of monster coal mines on prime farmland, has moved his whole ministry into the caravan and they're off to tour his electorate. Don't mention Tony Windsor

To celebrate their joy Barnaby's staff have produce this cheap commemorative timepiece, guaranteed to be correct at least 2 times a day. It's prone to strangle itself, but still works